ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS
Thoughts I've had about free will told through a story about rock paper scissors
Okay, let me paint the scene. Imagine you have been selected to participate in a rock, paper, scissors tournament. Not only that, but it is the national rock, paper, scissors tournament. How were you selected? Why are you going? That doesn't matter, it isn't important. Just know that you're here now and ready to win this thing.
When you arrive, you step into a stadium filled with easily over 1,000 people, all just as determined as you, if not more. You notice people being pulled out of line by people in suits. Curious about what's going on, you walk up to one of them, who explains that they are choosing contestants to interview. Since this will be nationally televised, they want the contestants' stories throughout the broadcast. They ask if you want to be interviewed and you say yes, because why not. They ask simple questions about your daily habits, your interests, things like that. Then, as you stand up to leave, you notice a box with a question mark on the table. You ask what it is and they say they're not sure, but you can take it if you want. So you do.
Afterwards, you get back in line and grab a number. #872. While waiting for the tournament to start, you inspect the box and finally open it. Inside are two small, nearly transparent earbuds and a note that says "put me on." You put them on but don't hear anything. You're about to take them out when someone steps onto the large stage on the far side of the stadium and speaks into a microphone, explaining the rules.
Each person will be randomly assigned an opponent each round, where they will play one round of rock, paper, scissors. They must say "Rock, Paper, Scissors says shoot!" All other forms are FORBIDDEN. The winner of each round will move to the winners' side of the stadium while the losers will be asked to leave immediately.
After the rules are explained, the game begins. You are randomly assigned to face #1015. It takes you a few minutes to find them.
You choose rock. They choose scissors. You're into the next round. They look annoyed as they walk away. You head to the winners' section. There are still so many people left. It takes about 20 minutes for the first round to end. The host is back on stage and announces that there are now only 1,024 people left. The remaining contestants cheer, except for a few who stay silent, including yourself. After the host finishes his speech, you are assigned a new opponent. #623. You're able to find her a bit quicker this time.
You choose rock. They choose scissors. Rock is working out pretty well for you so far. You head back to the winners' section. It takes about the same amount of time for everyone to finish. The host is now back on stage and announces that there are 512 people left. He speaks for a while, which you tune out until the remaining contestants begin to cheer. Afterwards, you are assigned a new opponent. #18. First low number, how exciting. You find them in the crowd and play.
You choose rock. They choose scissors. OH SHIT! You're on a roll. You try not to celebrate too much, but you can't believe how lucky you've gotten so far. You may as well just choose rock the rest of the way through. Your opponent shakes your hand, tells you "good luck," and leaves. You head back to the winners' section. The host goes on stage again and announces that there are 256 people left. The next round starts. You search for #184.
You choose rock. They choose scissors. 128 contestants remaining. You're assigned another number.
You choose rock. They choose scissors. 64 people. This is too easy.
You choose rock. They choose scissors. 32 people.
You choose rock. They choose scissors. 16 people.
You choose rock. They choose scissors. 8 people left. You can't believe you're actually going to win. You pull back your hand when you hear a voice say, "Choose scissors." Your opponent has already started the chant. You don't have time to process it.
You choose scissors. They choose paper. What? Who said that? Why did that work? How did they know your opponent would choose paper? Had they been watching your other games and knew you always chose rock? What's going on?
You reach for the earbuds to take them out when the voice speaks again. "Leave me in if you want to win." You pause but decide to lower your arm and keep them in. "Who are you?" you mumble, low, so you don't look crazy to the remaining contestants. The voice says, "That's not important. Just do what I say." They did save you from losing, so you decide to go with it.
4 people left. It's the semifinals and you're assigned your next opponent. #952. The voice says paper. But as it does, you see your opponent grin. What is going on?
You choose paper. They choose rock. Your opponent is shocked. Their shock quickly turns to anger. "I did everything right. What the fuck is this?" They pull a clear earbud out of their ear and crush it on the ground. "This is bullshit! I was supposed to win!" Your opponent continues to throw a fit and has to be physically removed from the stadium. "I was supposed to win."
You stand there frozen. They had an earbud too? Weren't you the only one? Aren't you meant to win this whole thing? Did everyone have one? Is that why they knew who was going to win? Why you? Why did the voice allow you to continue and let them go home? Did they know about the temper? Is this getting them good views?
Before you have a chance to process any of your endless questions, the host announces you and the final matchup. You only have one opponent left. #1. They grin, barely registering you, as if they've already won. You each raise your arms when they put one finger to their ear. A moment later, the voice says rock.
What do you choose?
Rock. This is what you planned to choose the whole game. Ol' reliable, until the voice made you choose something else. If the voice wasn't around, this would be a no-brainer. But the voice is around, and it's telling you to choose it, even though it told your last opponent to do the same and they lost. Can you really trust the voice to have your best interests in mind? Regardless of what you were going to choose originally, you are now doing exactly what the voice wants you to do. Right?
Paper. If you were meant to lose, then it will be a tie. If you were meant to win, then you lose. It's the choice that makes the least amount of sense, but maybe that's what makes it special. You could argue this is the only thing you can throw in this situation that doesn't force you to do what the voice wants, because it's a choice that makes no sense. Then the decision becomes: do you care more about winning or about maintaining your own autonomy? Regardless, this is a lose lose situation for you. Right?
Scissors. If you were meant to lose, then you'll win. If you were meant to win, then you'll tie. It feels like the safe option that also doesn't force you to conform to what the voice wants. But at the end of the day, you would have never thrown scissors if it wasn't for the voice in the first place. The voice has been watching you the whole game and knows that you planned to only throw rock. This is the safest option. Right?
The issue with each of these scenarios is believing that you understand the voice's intentions. Scenario 1 assumes the voice wants you to win. Scenarios 2 and 3 assume the voice wants you to lose. What if neither is true? What if there's an ulterior motive? What if the voice told both contestants to choose rock?
Maybe the voice created this game to find someone willing to do whatever they say, regardless of what they see. If you choose scissors, you are deciding to take matters into your own hands to win. You are refusing to do the voice's bidding because the voice has already shown itself to be untrustworthy, and that proves to the voice that they can't use you and you lose. If you choose rock, you are choosing to be subservient and will tie because of it. Maybe the voice keeps telling each contestant to choose rock to see who will break first. If you choose paper, you break the script. You beat rock by choosing the option that would make no sense to choose, something the voice can't predict. You maintain your autonomy and win the tournament. But again, this is only true if the voice is using this tournament as some type of subservience test.
At the end of the day, there is no way to understand what the voice is thinking in the moment. Regardless of what you choose, you are making a decision based on the voice and not on what you want to do. Is it possible to make a decision that isn't tainted by the voice and choose something that allows you to maintain your free will?
I like to think so. I believe the best thing to do is to tell contestant #1 that you are choosing rock and ask what they will choose. Regardless of what they say, or if they stay silent, you throw rock. This flips the script and forces the voice to make a decision based on your decision. They now have to choose between the scenarios above. You break the script and turn this back into a simple game of rock, paper, scissors.